Friendship: The Perfect Blendship

It was just another normal night of backstabbings, murder, hangings, lies, deception, and trickery. If anyone would have stepped in at any random moment that night, they would have all thought that we hated each other. They would have heard the arguments putting people on the defensive and accusations that had not been proven to be true. They would have seen the finger-pointing and the looks of disgust on everyone’s face as they accused each other of some horrible wrong-doing. What was this horrible sight and sound that it manifested itself one late Sunday night? Oh, it was just a rousing game of Mafia being played by me and my group of friends. After all wise man once said “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” How true that is!

I feel sorry for the people who cannot be themselves around their friends for fear of people not accepting them as who they are. I have no patience for people who pretend to be someone else just so someone would like them. I have tried that route before and have to come to realization it doesn’t work out. Just the strain of being a “fake” person is enough to make one go crazy. Over the past few years, I have slowly come out of my turtle shell to find that the outside, although sometimes harsh, is a pleasant place to be. To guard yourself because you might be hurt or someone might not like you was a ridiculous notion I once had. No great reward comes without great risk. Yes, it is a risk to put yourself out there without protection of your shell but the shell gets heavy and cumbersome. So shed it, you’ll feel uncomfortable at first but the taste of freedom can be unquenchable and soon you’ll forget all about your shell. For over the years, the more I put my true self out there, the more I was rewarded by strengthening relationships with old friends and making new ones. I just want to say I love my friends!! They are all awesome!

I was talking with my mom a few days ago about a get-together my friend had at her house. She asked me “How many are in the group now?” As I named and counted each one in my head, I realized how blessed I am to have so many friends. My prayer to God for the longest time was for the Lord to send me one good friend. Today, I can tell you God has blessed me with so much more than just one good friend. I have so many wonderful friends. We have some things in common i.e. we are all Christians, we all attend the same church, we are all under 30 (at this moment), we live in the same city, and we all are sarcastic in some way, shape, or form. Then I began to realize that we all have different roles. We have the ringleader, the quiet one, the know-it-all, the debater, the loud one, the observant one, the funny one, the sweet one, the overly-sarcastic one, the creative one, and last but not least the honest one. Some of us went to public school, some of us were homeschooled, and some of us went to Christian school. Some of us have high-income jobs, some of us are students, and some of us have low-income jobs. Some of us are married, some are in relationship, and some of us are not. Yet somehow, some way, we all just kind of got together. Granted friendships don’t maintain themselves, you have to work at them. Aristotle said, “Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.” John Leonard said “It takes a long time to grow an old friend.” It has taken a long time, a few years in fact for all of us to grow together. God has blessed all of us so much and I am so thankful that God has answered my prayer. Each of one of my friends including my brothers has encouraged me by their example, their ability to make me laugh, and even by just asking me how my day has been.

Being single in a relationship world is hard, being single without friends in a relationship world would be unthinkable. One of the main reasons why I can be so happy and relaxed being single is because I have a great group of friends who can lift my spirits. These are the people that I can talk to at night about my burdens and my desires. I rely so greatly on my friends that I can only hope that I give them back more than I take. I am reminded of what Henry David Thoreau said “The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.” There have been some rough times in the life of our friendship and I am sure there will be more but I know in my heart that these people that God has placed in my life are some of the greatest people on earth to be a friend with. I don’t have to be friends with George Clooney or Johnny Depp or Michael Bublè to be popular. I don’t have to be rich or exquisitely beautiful or a world traveler to prove a point. All I have to be is myself. Just me…Christa and no one else. So come over one time and join me and my friends as we play another tantalizing nail-biting round of Mafia, you’ll be glad you did.

“You can always tell a real friend when you’ve made a fool of yourself,

he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.”

Laurence Peter