My Letter to Him

It has been a little over a month since I have determined to be single and be happy. I must say that I am more content with my life since then. I feel the freedom to be myself and less pressure to find someone to “complete” me. Granted, I have had my unhappy moments but I have had no moments with tears. There I have had moments of sadness but I have had no signs of depression. I don’t know why I did not make this decision long ago. Selfishness and pride have more than a little something to do with it. Wanting what I wanted and wanting it now. I despise people who act that way and I am embarrassed to say that I acted like a selfish child. That has been put into the past. I still have a longing for a husband but I am content to wait on God for that husband.

My friend told me yesterday that I would have that “Love at First Sight” moment I always wanted. I always dreamed that it would be just like Cinderella when she first met Prince Charming. They both knew by the end of the night that they were meant to be together. I hope I have that moment but if not it’ll be ok. My hopes and dreams may not be the best way. God knows the best way and I just have to trust Him to work it all out. It’s been so hard to relinquish that trust but I know my dreams are in safe hands. I trust my imperfect dreams to a perfect God who can make them more beautiful than I could ever imagine. This post is not meant to be a discouraging or a “pity me” moment but a reflection of everything that has happened in a month. I have grown so much and I realize that maybe I wasn’t as ready as I thought. God will bring him at just the right time. I am waiting…

Ever since I was in college in 2006 at PCC, I have written letters to my husband. I don’t know if I will ever give them to him as some of them are really discouraging and most of them are ramblings about how much I miss him, etc. They have been very therapeutic for me in that it’s helped me to remember God’s promise that he is out there. I am a very imaginative person and sometimes tend to see things that are not even implied or there so for me writing a letter to my future husband helps me to think of him as real person not a figment of my imagination. With the letter, I feel like I am talking to him, I just have to wait a little longer than normal for a response. I am going to give you a look into one of my letters to my husband. I am writing to him about this past month. I am a very private person and have more than once considered keeping this to myself but I need to make it real to me. Don’t worry, I won’t get too mushy or over the top. I’ll stop rambling and post the letter.

Dear Darling (side note: I hate the term “babe” or “baby”. Darling sounds so much better don’t you think?)

Dear Darling,

It’s been a while since I have written to you and I am sorry. Many things have happened so I will try to catch you up on all the details. In November, my friend and I went to a Straight No Chaser concert and had a blast. We are going again in April and taking a mini-road trip to Toledo with 2 other girls. I am very excited as I have new camera and I hope to get better pictures with all the guys.

Christmas and New Year’s Day came and went with little to no hiccups; however, it was a very trying time for me. Holidays always seem to bring the thought that you are not here with me but for now that’s what God wants and I must learn to trust Him. January was a very rough month as I had thought that 2011 would have been the year we met. As you know and see, it was not. I put a lot of worry and stress on my body so much that it was affecting my relationships with my friends and family and it affected my health. I was so sure that I would meet you but I was not on the same wavelength as God. On January 24^th, I decided to stop worrying and stressing about nothing and trust God. It is now February 27^th and I feel like a new person. I’m happy to be single at this time in my life. I still miss you and still long for you especially the times my music playlist brings up love songs but I am more content to wait for God to bring me to you. Maybe we’ll have that Cinderella “Love at First Sight” moment, maybe it will be a gradual falling in love, or maybe it will be a whirlwind romance. Whatever the case, I know you’re out there or I wouldn’t be writing to you.

My little brother has since gotten an engaged to a wonderful girl name Harmony. I finally have the sister I have always wanted. She is a wonderful girl and I look forward to being in her wedding. I can’t believe that my little brother is getting married. When you live with someone for 23 years you start to think you’ll live with them for forever. Then all of sudden you come to the realization that you won’t be living with them next year is something that sounds unbearable. It’s a big step for both of our families.

I can’t wait to plan our wedding. I hope you will be easygoing during that time because I have been planning this for years. I know that you are just what God wants for me. I hope you understand sarcasm and randomness because those two things are ingrained in my personality. If you don’t, boy are you in for a big surprise!! Wow! Anyways, this letter has dragged on but I just wanted to write you and let you know I’m still care for you and love you even though I haven’t met you yet. Oh last thing (I told you I was random), you need to listen to Maker of the Rain by Soul’d Out Quartet. It is a wonderful song and I would love to sing it as a solo but I don’t if I could get the courage to ask Steve. Anyways, I love you and look forward to seeing you sometime in the future.

Your Love,

Christa

There you have it my letter to him-my future husband. Thank you for allowing me to have a private moment. Oh by the way, you all need to listen to that song Maker of the Rain. It’s wonderful and it goes with my blog theme-even better!!

To the Singles in the World-Be Happy Being Single.

To Everyone-Always Remember to Sing in the Rain.

Christa