My Name is Christa and I am ___ Lbs

For many years, I have been overweight and what many doctors consider obese. I have struggled with being overweight since the beginning of high school. In elementary school, I was tall and skinny. Now, I’ve become tall and stout. Bigger sized shirts and A-line skirts covered it well for a little while. I soon couldn’t cover the many rolls that were created due to the Big Macs and chicken nuggets I had eaten while working at McDonald’s. I had joined a water aerobics class but I wasn’t committed to losing weight and I just got heavier. I went to college and plateaued at a weight well over 200 pounds. I was active at school but the stress of tests and papers negated any exercise I was doing. I would always tell people I was in the process of losing weight. Then I would turn around and eat a Chick-Fil-A sandwich with extra mayo. I started to hide food from people so I wouldn’t feel so negative about indulging myself. Ramen was my downfall. Every night after dinner, I would go to my room and eat a bowl of Ramen. I never got tired of it. In fact, it was one of my most favorite parts of the day. After college, I went back to work at McDonald’s and eating Big Macs and chicken nuggets. I was getting tired of the way I looked but I have always struggled with my self-confidence so I ate. Bad choice…

Then I started having health problems. My parents had warned me many times that if I didn’t start losing weight I would get diabetes. Diabetes was my worst fear yet I just dismissed the fact and kept on eating. I started wheezing going up a simple flight of stairs. My clothes started to get tight and I could no longer wear my favorite outfits. I would go shopping and be ashamed of my dress size so I tried to shop alone. I didn’t realize it but my cheeks were so big, people must have thought I was storing nuts for the winter. Then what scared me was I started missing my periods. I missed up to 9 months of my cycle so I went to my OB-GYN office. She recommended that I see an endocrinologist. There is a history of thyroid problems in my family so I dismissed my missing periods as a thyroid problem. I made an appointment and he told me that my problems were caused by me being overweight. I disagreed so I sought a second opinion. This time it was worse. He told me that I was a pre-diabetic and if I didn’t make a lifestyle change my worst fears would come true. I was literally scared into losing weight. My friend had started Weight Watchers and had gotten fast results so I started Weight Watchers. I must admit that I wasn’t (and I’m still not) fully committed to the points system. For instance, there have been days when I don’t count my points as I should. In 9 months, I lost 20 pounds. That’s not a record but weight loss is a struggle for me so in my mind that was a huge victory. I was ecstatic as I sat in the doctor’s office. He was proud of me and congratulated me for my weight loss. Then I stopped Weight Watchers and gained 5 pounds in 3 months. I started guilt tripping myself and went back on Weight Watchers to lose 10 pounds in 3 months for a total of 30. I was happy with my weight loss and knew that even though I had struggled I was making some progress. I went to the doctor’s office and he told me I needed to continue to lose weight. Instead of taking his advice, I stayed at the same weight. It was November and I was struggling with feelings and holidays. In January, I had gained 3 or so pounds over the holiday. I wasn’t concentrating on me but on other things as you can read in previous posts.

February came and I had a new outlook on life as well as a sizable tax return. I sat watching TV one night saying, “I need to lose weight. I’m tired of looking like a tub of lard.” I knew of a gym about 5 minutes away that was affordable so I joined. That was 5 weeks ago and I have lost 5 pounds and one dress size!! Wow! I was happy with the results. I felt so much better that I was actually doing something about my weight and working out. I had more energy and I found that I enjoyed exercise. I tried different machines until I found the one that works best for me: the treadmill. I work out 4 times a week for 45 minutes right after work and right before I go home. It is amazing how much confidence I have gained.

I never have discovered why I gained so much weight. Part of it is because I love to eat. I used to pound a ½ pound hamburger, bun, toppings, and all, in one sitting. Now, I can barely eat just the burger. The bread is too heavy and has a lot of calories. Part of it is a self-confidence issue. I have always struggled with self-confidence so I would eat. I’m not sure how my brain thought of that rotten idea but that’s what I thought for the time being. Whatever the case, I became overweight and risked my health because I wanted that big huge bowl of spaghetti 20 times over. Weight loss continues to be a struggle but I am committed to losing at least 90 more pounds. I have a long way to go and at this rate it might take me a couple of years but I know that I will have victory. Someday I’ll be able to say “Hi, my name is Christa and I am 160 pounds. Deal with that!” For now, I shall be proud to say, “Hi, my name is Christa and I am 245 pounds. I used to be 280 and soon I will be 160.” Until next time,

Be Happy Being Single

Always Keep Singing in the Rain

Christa

P.S. Here’s a snapshot of my new outfit for the April concert.

My Girl's Top Ten Guide to Books

Since the Perfect Man Builder series has somewhat run its course, I have been considering on what to write about. My life is at times hectic and there is a world of things I can write about. This week is one of my absolutely do nothing weeks and I would love to tell you about my life but unless you want to hear about the spider I found in the shower a couple of days ago, then I best get my inspiration on. So I wrote down a couple of ideas, contemplated eating chocolate, then I ate a piece of chocolate, and I wrote down some more ideas. Then (wham!!) it hit me. Chocolate always brings inspiration! I could do a Top Ten like David Letterman and here we are. As I have mentioned beforehand, I love reading books. It’s how I get my adrenaline rush. Most people think I read only about serial killers and only read Ted Dekker books. They would only be 75% correct. I must admit I am very picky on what books I read. It irks me when people write an unusually large amount of profanity in books. To me, every time a curse word is used, it demeans the overall picture the book is trying to portray. Trashy romantic novels are also a big no-no. So what else do I read besides Ted Dekker? Well I present to you my list of the top ten books every girl should have (no Ted Dekker book is included although it should be). Read on…

What’s A Girl to Do by Janet Folger

This book has helped me tremendously by picking me up during the hard times and giving me inspiration to move on. The biggest thing I love about this book is her writing style. It’s so down to earth yet straight forward. It’s like she’s talking to you at the local Starbucks over a cup of coffee. The truth she presents is so practical and she has the ability to write in a way that everyone can understand. Every girl (single or not) should have this book. It’s amazing.

Bible

Every person (girl or boy) should own a KJV bible. Every answer for every question under Heaven is written in that book. If you are Christian, you should be reading it every day. I struggle with it many times but God has been patient. I have gained a lot of encouragement and love through the Bible. It’s a wonderful book.

Jane Austen

No, Jane Austen is not a book, she’s an author. Yet, she is one of those authors where every book she has written is good (like Ted Dekker!). My favorites include Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility. I love her sarcastic writing style and wit. Each page drips with brilliance and her wording cuts right to the heart of the matter. Her books are good for any romantic (hopeless or not).

Love Comes Softly Series by Janette Oke

This series is well known in the Christian circles due to the fact it’s a Christian love story. I must admit that I am not a huge fan of this series because the author makes the man cry on every page. Ok I’m exaggerating but literally, a man does not cry that much. However, the first couple books are very well-written and show a unique perspective on love. Plus it’s a love story, where can you wrong with a love story? Nowhere.

Songs of Acadia Series by Janette Oke and T. Davis Bunn

These are my all-time favorite Oke and Bunn books. This series is very inspiring and very well written. It deals with two women of different nations that are at war yet somehow they become friends. Bunn presents a more masculine side to the book that is needed while Janette Oke’s classic love-story writing style ties the book together. Two enthusiastic thumbs up!!!

Little House on the Prairie Series by Laura Ingalls Wilder

These books were my favorite books growing up and even to this day bring a nostalgic frame of mind to me every time I read them. Almost every girl growing up has at least one of her books. If not, I recommend you go out and buy one. The series deals with her life growing up on the prairie with her Ma, Pa, and sister Mary. They are an awesome read for a girl at any age.

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Yes!! My favorite book growing up as a teenager!! My favorite character is Jo. She stayed single until she met her one true love and was a tomboy at heart. Who does that sound like? I don’t know anybody like that. Do you? I guarantee you, you’ll love reading about the escapades of her and her three sisters on any day.

Anne of Green Gables Series by Lucy Maud Montgomery

Can you tell I love series of books? This series deals with an orphan girl named Anne who has the unfortunate (at first) luck of staying with two old siblings (Matthew and Marilla) in their house at Green Gables on Prince Edward Island. Anne is a flighty girl who rarely thinks before she acts which turns into a very good read. Don’t believe me? Well, read it ;-)

The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom

The Holocaust has been a black spot in time from history ever since the end of World War II and before. It has always intrigued me how men and women formed the Resistance and helped to end the war and slaughter of Jews. Corrie Ten Boom was one of those women. Elderly she may seem but she was feisty and her story inspires countless others to fight for what is right. Ever had a bad day?! This woman counted the good days because they were few and far between. This book can put a lot of things into perspective for you.

Biography of Fanny Crosby

Fanny Crosby was a blind songwriter who wrote almost 8,000 hymns. Talk about a busy woman. She was amazing!  She didn’t let her blindness slow her down in fact, she came to embrace it and at times thanked God for making her blind. Her most well-known hymns are Blessed Assurance, Tell Me the Story of Jesus, and To God Be the Glory. Fanny overcame hardship (and I’m sure discouragement) yet her faith never seemed to waiver and she loved her Savior till the day she died. What an amazing woman!!

I apologize for the length but I couldn’t seem to condense it. I hope you are still reading this then I want to say a big THANK YOU to all of you. It’s no use to write a blog if no one reads it. Until next time,

Be Happy Being Single

Always Remember to Sing in the Rain

 Christa

Perfect Man Builder Part 2

This is what you all have been anticipating!! The next installment in the Perfect Man Builder 2012 series!! And the peasants rejoice (not that you all are peasants but….never mind….it’s a Christa thing). If you haven’t read the first installment, click here. This post will be about the perfect man’s personality. We all know girls, that it’s the looks that attract you and the personality that keeps you. He can be tall, dark, and handsome but if he has the personality of a board, then methinks you won’t be dating him too long unless you like the board-type personalities. Enough with the mixing of words let us begin the process.

To begin I would want the man to be well, a man. Some of you are saying at this exact moment in time, “Yes! We know you want a man” and you are correct. However, I’ve seen some good looking men who are not men. Are you officially confused? Yes? Good! Time to explain. I will use Hollywood as an example. I want a man like John Wayne instead of a man like Tim Gunn (co-host of Project Runway). Both of them fit into the man category but not in the man personality category. John Wayne is a rugged individual who’s not afraid to get dirty and tough it out. Tim Gunn, I can safely say is not that type of man. John Wayne is the essence of a true man…Tim Gunn is the essence of I’m-not-really-sure-you-fill-in-the-blank man. John Wayne is a manly man. He was a tremendous actor and his character was as big in person as it was on the screen. He was the modern-day Chuck Norris. My favorite movie of his is McClintock which co-starred Maureen O’Hara. John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara made the perfect movie team. She had a personality and fire big enough to not be over-shadowed by John Wayne. My favorite line of his is in that movie. The scene is in a hotel bedroom and Kate (Maureen O’Hara) and G.W. (John Wayne) are arguing. He is just about to leave when he turns and utters “Half the people in the world are women why are you the one that stirs me?” then in one bound, he walks to her and passionately kisses her. I melt every time. To have a man like that kiss me would be a dream come true.

When I say music, I know the furthest thing from your mind is a manly man. These two are typically not associated together but in my perfect man they will be. Unlike my dream, I would not choose Gerard Butler’s voice. His voice is good but it doesn’t make me swoon. I have no idea why I made that selection. My perfect man’s voice would be as angelic as Paul Byrom’s voice is in this number called She...

(I get chills every time I hear this song. His voice is easy to listen to and he’s not bad looking either ;-)) Yet as sultry as Frank Sinatra’s voice is in this song…

But when he talks his voice would be as deep as George Clooney’s and have an English, Australian, or Irish accent. Also, if he’s the perfect man he would be able to dance like Gene Kelly in this number from Singing in the Rain called Moses Supposes His Toeses Are Roses.

Tall order? I thought so but I believe the Perfect Man Builder 2012 can handle it!

Up to now, I have manly man who sings like an angel and who dances like Gene Kelly. Let us add to the list a sarcastic sense of humor like Cary Grant. I am a very sarcastic person and someone who doesn’t understand it would not be a good companion for me. I would love to have the banter that Cary Grant and his lady friend has in this scene from His Girl Friday (which just happens to be my favorite Cary Grant movie).

Wouldn’t that be awesome? It would be a battle of the wits so when we stop we would be at our wit’s end. Get it? *Cue cymbals* *Clears Throat* Next personality trait….

I admit I am a hopeless romantic. In fact, I will be checking myself into Hopeless Romantics Anonymous (HRA) after this post is over. Now, I have a manly man who sings like an angel, who dances like Gene Kelly, and who has a sarcastic sense of humor like Cary Grant in addition to being undyingly romantic. My version of romance is for my husband to kiss me in the rain, give me flowers and buy gifts for me, tell me how beautiful my eyes are, hold my hand when we take long walks on the beach, and surprise me with the little things that I love just because it makes me happy. What? You say every girl wants that? Oh, well since we are on the subject, let me give you a glimpse of how I really would like my Mr. Right to propose to me. First of all, I want it to be a surprise and in a private place. I despise engagements in restaurants. If that happened to you, then so be it. Me, I am a private person and I don’t want everybody looking at me wondering if I am going to say yes. Second, he will have 11 red roses and 1 white rose. The roses symbolize girls: the white one represents me and the red ones represent every other girl. The meaning is: He chose me out of all the other girls in the world. I know…romantic, right? Here’s a tissue if you need one.

There you have it…My perfect man is a manly man who sings like an angel, who dances like Gene Kelly, who has a sarcastic sense of humor like Cary Grant, and who is undyingly romantic. Now, all I have to do is find that machine at some other local fair and make my selection. This should turn out great! Maybe, I won’t need to check into HRA after all. Until then,

Be Happy Being Single

Always Remember to Sing in the Rain

Christa

My Favorite Things

“Raindrops on Roses

And Whiskers on Kittens

Bright, Copper Kettles

And Warm Woolen Mittens

Brown Paper Packages all tied up with Strings

These are a Few of my Favorite Things”

                                                          

Anyone remember this song from the Sound of Music? This is one of my favorites along with Edelweiss and I Have Confidence. Since my last post was a little depressing (ok it was really depressing), I have declared that there will be no more negativity. No more!! It has been banished from the depths of this blog never to be seen again. It has been spoken (written) by the Great and Powerful Christa and shall be so. I’m done declaring now, sorry.  Moving on, as the title of this blog states, this post is about my favorite things. So when the dog bites, when the bee stings, and when I’m feeling sad…what makes me better? Glad you asked. Without further delay, here is a list of my top five favorite things…
                     

To start it off, I LOVE music. If you have known me for any amount of time, you know that music is what makes my heart beat. Without music in my life, I would not what to do. I honestly would go into a serious state of depression if I couldn’t hear or sign another note of music. My favorite type of music is A Capella. It has always been since I can remember; however, A Capella cannot provide what my first music love, the piano, can. Why? I honestly don’t know but I can surmise. It might be because when I listen to A Capella music I sit back and let the tones flood over me. When I’m stressed, I want to relax but can’t relax enough to let go. Understand? No, well then we will leave at I don’t know. With that being said, one of my favorite things is hearing a simple solo with only a piano background. My favorites are Never Walk Alone by Brian Free, Joseph’s Lullaby by Mercy Me, and God’s Been Good by Legacy Five. There’s just something about it that calms me and forces me to relax and take a big breath. Mmmm….I can just hear it now……

My second favorite thing is Southern Gospel Quartet music. Yes sir or ma’am (I’m not prejudice)! I love the sounds of the four part harmony of a good-old quartet. Tenor, lead, baritone, and bass…must admit my favorite quartet part is tenor. All-time favorite tenor is a tie between Brian Free and David Phelps. Getting off the rabbit trail, quartet music provides me with the seamless division of harmony that I need to survive. Wow!! I just blew my own mind…seamless division. Moving on, quartet music can uplift my soul in many ways and I am always up to listening to it. It’s just one of my favorite things.

My third favorite thing is a child’s hug. I teach 3-5 year olds every Wednesday night at church and have grown to love and know each and every one of them. They are so cute and say the funniest things. When I first started, two years ago, I wanted to become so close to them that they would come up and hug me at church without me asking. It took a little time but it has now become a “regular” treat. They can cheer me up any day and anytime.

My fourth favorite thing is the adrenaline rush you get after you finish reading a thriller. The ones were you have to take more than one deep breath afterwards to calm your heartbeat. Some people ride roller coasters; I read books. My favorite thriller author is Ted Dekker. I became a huge fan of his since I read House. My favorite thriller book is Thr3e by (you guessed it) Ted Dekker. If you have never read it, stop reading this blog and go out and get it now! It’s that awesome. Trust me. Have I ever led you wrong?

*Warning!! Single girl moment up ahead**

My fifth favorite thing is looking at handsome guys pictures. It doesn’t matter if they are a movie star, musician, or athlete. I love looking at them all. Their hair and eyes…..David Beckham. Oh sorry, their hair and eyes and smile and fashion sense………………….David Beckham. Oh, sorry again. Where was I? Oh David Beckham…no, no, no I left off at fashion sense. I just love a well dressed fellow who knows that purple doesn’t go with red or that 90’s sweater went out of style in the 70’s. I especially love a guy that dresses in a suit. Yes ladies, a guy in a suit is just totally awesome…………………David Beckham. Stop it Christa!!! He’s married. Ok………….what about him?

Or him?

Or him?

You can’t bottle up handsome and sell it ladies sorry.

That wraps up my top five favorite things. I hope you enjoyed reading my first “No More Negativity” blog post. In other news, next week’s forecast has a 95% chance of another Perfect Man Builder 2012 blog post, so if you liked that one, click the little follow button in the sidebar and you’ll be the first to know when it’s up. Comment on this post or on my Facebook link and tell me your top 5 favorite things.

The End….for now ;-)

Be Happy Being Single.

Always Remember to Keep Singing in the Rain.

Christa

Weary in Waiting

Just to be clear, this post was not meant for revenge or as a pity party for me. I am solely writing this because I need to. Any other single person may not feel the way I feel but I need to talk about it. I know after this is posted on my blog, my friends will text me with encouraging words and leaving encouraging comments on Facebook letting me know to keep on going. I appreciate everyone’s word of encouragement and by all means don’t stop because sometimes it’s exactly what I need. Just know, that although this specific post might not look like it, I am happy being single. This is just one sad moment out of a 100 happy ones I will write about.

My alarm sounded the theme of Batman to alert me that it was 6:30am and I needed to get ready for work. I groaned hit the snooze and rolled over. It happened again as it has been consistently every week. As I laid there contemplating if I wanted to get up or give up, the feeling of sadness came over me like a flood and I felt the pull of the chain. I got up quickly to get moving and get my mind off the sadness. I thought “Man, I have to clean this room” as I looked for an unwrinkled shirt in my clean clothes pile on the floor. I found one and went about getting the rest of myself ready for work. I’m beginning to hate these dreams. Those dreams where I’m getting married, in a relationship, or talking with my husband seems so real. I’m so happy for a fleeting second, only to wake up to the cold realization that I am alone. What have I done that is so wrong that no one will fall in love with me? Why isn’t God bringing me to him? Where is he? He is in my thoughts daily and I have felt for the longest time that he is just around the corner. So I trod on the path of singleness and turn the corner to find out he’s not there and find another corner up ahead. I push till I can’t take it anymore and just break down. This struggle has drawn me so much closer to God but I don’t know what else to do. I am reading my Bible, trying to get back into a prayer life, starting to witness more about Him, serving in the church, and trusting God but how much can one person take? How long do I have to wait? I wrote a poem once that started,

“If I have to wait a thousand years or more for you,

I’d wait until my time is through.

If I had to climb the mountain top so high

I’d not even wonder why

And if I had to swim among the fishes of the deep blue sea

It would not even phase me”

Yet, I have no idea how long I have to wait or where he is. I know for sure that my Mr. Right doesn’t live on Mt. Everest or in the Pacific Ocean. I also know for sure that I don’t have to wait a thousand years or more because I will be dead before then. I have complained, I have discussed, I have cried, I have prayed, I have worried, I have forgotten (for but a moment), I have vented, I have kept it inside….yet I have nothing to show for it except a string of random text messages and a trail of tears. I feel the pressure all around me closing in and there’s nothing I can do. I am so lost. I feel at times that people don’t understand the feelings of singles who know they are to be married and yet they’re not. I see their looks as I talk about my daily struggles because they asked me. Their looks say “Girl, chill. It’s just a guy. You’ll find him eventually. You’re just being greedy and selfish. Get over it.” Their looks show that maybe I’m a little too desperate. Sorry, but you don’t understand me.

I feel like I’m standing still and everyone has moved on with their lives and there I am, good old Christa: no sign of a husband and alone. It seems that everyone is starting a family, everyone is getting married, but here I am on the outside looking in craving for those exact things. Their dreams are coming true yet I’m still holding to the hope that that might happen to me. Some people might call it being selfish and greedy but I can’t help what I feel. Sometimes, I can’t stop those feelings from coming to the surface for all to see because I am tired of holding it in inside of me. I once heard that true joy is being happy in the good times and bad times. This is one of those bad times and I apologize but I am weary of waiting and being patient. I’m tired of looking at every single guy that comes my way as a potential mate. Yet, I will smile and force myself to think on all the blessings that God has given me. For God has been good, is good, and will always be good to me.

I will keep on going because I know this is where God wants me to be. I will keep my trust in Him because God always keeps His promises. I will be happy being single because this is God’s will for me at this moment in my life. I will remain true and faithful to my future husband. I will trod on the path of singleness to the corner up ahead because maybe this time I will be right. I will clean my room after I get home from work because I need to learn to keep a clean house. It’s raining but I’m going to throw back my head and start singing again. Music always lifts my spirit. I have a set playlist of songs on my phone so that whenever I feel this way I always have music on hand that encourages me. This is one of my favorites. It’s sung by my favorite Southern Gospel tenor Brian Free and it’s called Never Walk Alone.

Always remember to sing in the rain.

Be happy being single.

Christa