My Name is Christa and I am ___ Lbs

For many years, I have been overweight and what many doctors consider obese. I have struggled with being overweight since the beginning of high school. In elementary school, I was tall and skinny. Now, I’ve become tall and stout. Bigger sized shirts and A-line skirts covered it well for a little while. I soon couldn’t cover the many rolls that were created due to the Big Macs and chicken nuggets I had eaten while working at McDonald’s. I had joined a water aerobics class but I wasn’t committed to losing weight and I just got heavier. I went to college and plateaued at a weight well over 200 pounds. I was active at school but the stress of tests and papers negated any exercise I was doing. I would always tell people I was in the process of losing weight. Then I would turn around and eat a Chick-Fil-A sandwich with extra mayo. I started to hide food from people so I wouldn’t feel so negative about indulging myself. Ramen was my downfall. Every night after dinner, I would go to my room and eat a bowl of Ramen. I never got tired of it. In fact, it was one of my most favorite parts of the day. After college, I went back to work at McDonald’s and eating Big Macs and chicken nuggets. I was getting tired of the way I looked but I have always struggled with my self-confidence so I ate. Bad choice…

Then I started having health problems. My parents had warned me many times that if I didn’t start losing weight I would get diabetes. Diabetes was my worst fear yet I just dismissed the fact and kept on eating. I started wheezing going up a simple flight of stairs. My clothes started to get tight and I could no longer wear my favorite outfits. I would go shopping and be ashamed of my dress size so I tried to shop alone. I didn’t realize it but my cheeks were so big, people must have thought I was storing nuts for the winter. Then what scared me was I started missing my periods. I missed up to 9 months of my cycle so I went to my OB-GYN office. She recommended that I see an endocrinologist. There is a history of thyroid problems in my family so I dismissed my missing periods as a thyroid problem. I made an appointment and he told me that my problems were caused by me being overweight. I disagreed so I sought a second opinion. This time it was worse. He told me that I was a pre-diabetic and if I didn’t make a lifestyle change my worst fears would come true. I was literally scared into losing weight. My friend had started Weight Watchers and had gotten fast results so I started Weight Watchers. I must admit that I wasn’t (and I’m still not) fully committed to the points system. For instance, there have been days when I don’t count my points as I should. In 9 months, I lost 20 pounds. That’s not a record but weight loss is a struggle for me so in my mind that was a huge victory. I was ecstatic as I sat in the doctor’s office. He was proud of me and congratulated me for my weight loss. Then I stopped Weight Watchers and gained 5 pounds in 3 months. I started guilt tripping myself and went back on Weight Watchers to lose 10 pounds in 3 months for a total of 30. I was happy with my weight loss and knew that even though I had struggled I was making some progress. I went to the doctor’s office and he told me I needed to continue to lose weight. Instead of taking his advice, I stayed at the same weight. It was November and I was struggling with feelings and holidays. In January, I had gained 3 or so pounds over the holiday. I wasn’t concentrating on me but on other things as you can read in previous posts.

February came and I had a new outlook on life as well as a sizable tax return. I sat watching TV one night saying, “I need to lose weight. I’m tired of looking like a tub of lard.” I knew of a gym about 5 minutes away that was affordable so I joined. That was 5 weeks ago and I have lost 5 pounds and one dress size!! Wow! I was happy with the results. I felt so much better that I was actually doing something about my weight and working out. I had more energy and I found that I enjoyed exercise. I tried different machines until I found the one that works best for me: the treadmill. I work out 4 times a week for 45 minutes right after work and right before I go home. It is amazing how much confidence I have gained.

I never have discovered why I gained so much weight. Part of it is because I love to eat. I used to pound a ½ pound hamburger, bun, toppings, and all, in one sitting. Now, I can barely eat just the burger. The bread is too heavy and has a lot of calories. Part of it is a self-confidence issue. I have always struggled with self-confidence so I would eat. I’m not sure how my brain thought of that rotten idea but that’s what I thought for the time being. Whatever the case, I became overweight and risked my health because I wanted that big huge bowl of spaghetti 20 times over. Weight loss continues to be a struggle but I am committed to losing at least 90 more pounds. I have a long way to go and at this rate it might take me a couple of years but I know that I will have victory. Someday I’ll be able to say “Hi, my name is Christa and I am 160 pounds. Deal with that!” For now, I shall be proud to say, “Hi, my name is Christa and I am 245 pounds. I used to be 280 and soon I will be 160.” Until next time,

Be Happy Being Single

Always Keep Singing in the Rain

Christa

P.S. Here’s a snapshot of my new outfit for the April concert.