My
lips cannot contain
My
mind cannot conceive
That
He will be my Everything
And
He is All I need
This past summer I received the opportunity to listen to my pastor’s
preaching every Wednesday night. I’m usually teaching my little munchkins songs
and Bible stories on Wednesday nights; however, for the summer we take a break.
Goodness knows we (the teachers) need it greatly. I’ve always enjoyed church
and listening to my pastor's messages but my mind tends to wander. I
confess that I’ve had many a daydream through his sermons and missed half of
what my pastor was trying to say even though he is a great preacher. This summer I determined to listen intently
to what he was speaking about and to really seek God on the matters of life close to my
heart. It has truly been a rewarding and eye opening summer. One of the first
messages my pastor gave was on how to discern God’s will for your life. I
really took that message to heart and followed what my pastor had said. I began
to set aside time to read my Bible and pray. I started to change some aspects
of my life that need to changing. I tried to really listen to
people and take time out to be with them. I started keeping promises that I had made.
I apologized more and learned how to swallow my pride instead of let it carry me away. I learned that being a
good friend does not mean that I have to be a mother. I found out that trust
can be easily broken and the hurt that comes from it is very hard to rebuild.
The most important thing I discovered was a few days ago. I finally learned
what truly all I ever wanted was.
The objective of my affection and desire has been a husband for as long
as I can remember. All I ever wanted was a husband and someone to share the
rest of my life with. In my mind, it’s a simple request. I was not asking for
an Aaron Rodgers (although it would be nice*wink*) or a Bill Gates (bring on
the shopping!!), I was just asking for a man. If he can sing, is single, and is saved, he qualifies. My desire and affections have never been satisfied as needless to say I
have not found a singing saved man that happens to be single. I bet you were surprised. A friend once
said, “Men are like a parking lot: all the good ones are taken and the only
ones left are those that are far out or handicapped (in the mental sense not
physical).“ The older I get the more I agree with her. For those women who have
found a good man, keep him! You won’t find another one. The odds are very slim
out there in the real world. Moving on...because my deepest desire was not
fulfilled I would get frustrated and disheartened. For instance, one weekend my
mom was shopping for her dress for my brother’s wedding. We went to every
bridal shop in town looking for a dress. I had a great time but I couldn’t help
but wonder what my experience would be like. When I shop for my wedding dress, I am truly going to
savor that moment since I've waited (still am) so long for it.The dress shopping wasn't so bad, my mom found a great dress
for the occasion but what was really hard was the craving that I had for that
once-in-a-lifetime moment. I was determined to see the bright side of life and
swallowed the sadness that threatened to ruin everything about that weekend.
I’m glad I did for that weekend turned out to be one of the best weekends in my
life. I attended two great Southern Gospel concerts: one for the Kingsmen and
one for Brian Free and Assurance. I even had my picture taken with Brian Free
and Assurance. The whole group!!!! Yay! Here’s my evidence…
Despite how wonderful the weekend was, my desire and affections still
remained unfulfilled only to rise up again at the most inopportune time. I
started listening to the CDs I had purchased over the weekend and started
seeking God even more. I wanted an answer and I was tired of waiting for that
love at first sight moment. I didn’t want to scan the pews of the church
seeking a single man anymore. I felt like a lion scanning the horizon for fresh
meat sometimes. I hated seeking others advice for the same problem over and
over hoping that this time someone would give me a different answer. I looked
for any answer to satisfy the need within. That was my problem. I looked for
anything and not the one thing. So I started praying and seeking more. I was content
to wait on God this time as I have discovered that His answers sometimes take a lot of time to get to you. The answer finally came and my wish to have that one thing
I ever wanted was granted. It happened around midnight when God revealed it to
me. All I ever wanted was… God. God was the answer to my desires and
affections. It wasn’t a guy or money but it was Him. I sat there for a second
and pulled my phone out to listen to the song He’s My Everything by the Cunningham Sisters. The song took on a new meaning to me and as the tears
flowed gently down my face I became happy and content. I can definitively say
that that moment in time was the closest I have ever been in fellowship with
God. As the song continued to play and the words continue to speak to my heart,
I felt gratefulness, peace, and love. Gratefulness to God for giving the lyricist
just the right words, peace that God had granted my greatest desire, and God’s love showing telling me no
matter how much I mess things up I will still be loved. My desire never changed
but the object of my affection had. I know realize that having a guy is not
what I wanted. It was having God in every aspect of my life.
When
all that I have left is Jesus
All
that I can see is Him
When
only He is watching over me
I’ll
have the only one I’ll ever need
He’s
the shoulder I have need to cry on
His
face will be always turned to me
His
will be the hand I hold when I am all alone
He
will see when I’m falling to my knees
I am becoming more and more content to let God lead and to let me watch. I am really excited about what the
future holds as I have grown so much in the past year that I can’t wait to see
what God will show me next. As the Bible says for godliness with contentment is
great gain. For those of you out there seeking your greatest desire, I
encourage you to seek God. Only He can satisfy any desire great or small that
you have. The answer may come right away but most times it takes work and
effort on your part. You will find that He is truly everything you need.
Until next time,
Be Happy Being Single
Always Remember to Sing in the Rain
Christa
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