January 10, 2022

Most of you, who are familiar with country music, know the artist Brad Paisley. His most famous songs consist of Whiskey Lullaby, Waiting on a Woman, and Online. Although I no longer listen to country music on a consistent basis there was one song of his that engrained itself in my head. It was called “Letter to Me”. 

In that song, he sings about writing a letter to himself when he was seventeen offering hope that everything would turn out fine. When I had first heard the song, it reached way down in my soul to the area of regret and pointed out the things I would wish to change. I have always thought that if I could just change my past, everything today would be better. I would have all that I longed for and everything that is wrong with me today would magically go away. I would tell myself to listen to my mom and take better care of my appearance. I would tell myself to not take out my frustrations in eating. I would tell myself to not go to Florida for college but go to Crown. I would tell myself to not worry about what someone else thinks of me just be myself. I also would tell myself to invest more time in music and to seek advice from whoever you can.

Yet my past has made me into who I am today. Where would I be without the memories of college life in Florida with the 90% humidity and the friends that I made? I would miss out on some great times and friendships. Where would I be if I had not struggled and worked through building my confidence? I probably would believe that everything would need to be handed to me on a silver platter. Where would I be if I invested so much time into music that I forgot about everything else in pursuit of a dream? I would have just that music and nothing else. Although that doesn’t sound bad, I realize I would have to give up many memories in exchange for it. My past is scattered with things I regret (I guess everyone’s is) but I have come to embrace it. In my mind, I know I can never write and send a letter to me in the past but I can write and send one to me in the future. So here is my letter to me in the year 2022, when I am 34 years old.

Dear Christa 2022,

Today is Monday, January 10, 2012. The President is Barack Obama and it is election year. It’s time for all the political ads to come out and annoy the fire out of you and everyone else. Hope you enjoy them! At this point in time, you still work at CCCS/Apprisen and are still trying to find another job. Hopefully, we will find one soon that will help us gain more experience in the working world. I hope this letter finds you well and that you are still alive.

My greatest hope is that you are no longer alone in the world but are married and have (or on the way to having) children. Remember all those tear filled nights crying out to God on where your Mr. Right was? I do and I hope he is wonderful and treats you like a queen. Anything less and he doesn’t deserve you at all. I wonder if he is as handsome as he is in my dreams. I hope he is interested in music because we both know your passion is music. I hope that you met your goal of losing 100 pounds. I know you will look so much better if you did. Losing weight does wonders for confidence.

It’s only 102 days to the SNC concert that you, Miranda, Kristen, and Amanda are going to. I can’t wait for it. Are they still around? You should buy their newest CD if they are. They are wonderful! Did you move out on your own or did you find Mr. Right before then? I’ve always said I wanted to live on my own before Mr. Right came. I regret making that statement some times but look at all that I have accomplished being single.

Do you still play piano at church? Remember the times you would watch Melissa and Deb play while you in the congregation wishing you were up there. Remember the time you played I Surrender All in the wrong key. Haha!! Just got to laugh at yourself. You were so ready to give up playing in church at that point. I am so glad that you stuck with it. Knowing you, your house is decorated in the 1950’s style with lots of color. I hope you got that black and white room you always wanted.

Are you still friends with the whole gang? Oh what times we had playing Mafia and Loaded Questions. Say hi to Melissa for me! She’s a wonderful friend and has helped me through a lot. Oh and remind Kristen about that time you went to Noodles and Company and she made you eat macaroni and cheese with chopsticks. You’ve never had to work so hard for your food. Say hi to them from me in the past. I hope you’ve kept up with that new hairstyle I just got. It looks so nice on you! I feel the need to end this letter on a good note so I wanted to end with your new favorite quote this month. It’s from Shakespeare Twelfth Night “If music be the food of love, then play on.”

Love,

Christa 2012