If you asked me what my one superhero power would be if I had the ability to be a superhero, I would without hesitation say to eat without gaining any weight. Sometimes that thought makes me cringe, sometimes it makes me happy. It's no secret that I struggle very much with my weight. For me, I've fought and lost so many times. As I've said before, I am the queen of starting things. I start a diet, lose weight, and then for some reason I stop. I start exercising for a week then I don't. I do have some "minor" health issues because of my weight. I say minor because right now they are minor but in reality they could become worse. The hypochondriac in me is terrified that I will end my life early because of my struggle. This only causes me to eat more and the cycle continues. I know my family is concerned about me which have resulted in talks and gentle encouragement.
For me losing weight is not a matter of knowing what to do. I know what works for me but I refuse to do it. I have good intentions but then I get lazy. Instead of cooking meals, I spend money to order fatty, carb loaded meals. I know that it's all about portion control, exercise, and making healthy choices. I know that sitting on the couch or on my bed all night is not good. Yet, I still do it. Recently, I've been really concerned about myself and my habits. I've become concerned because it doesn't seem like I can walk a few steps at a quick pace without struggling for breath. There are so many things that I would love to do but my weight holds me back.
I was reading in my Bible one day and two verses popped in my head from Hebrews 12:1-2 "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." The phrase "lay aside every weight" stuck out to me like a blot of white paint on a black canvas. In counseling for my depression/anxiety, my pastor explained that the sin or weight that easily besets us is that one temptation that trips us up. To clarify what my pastor was counseling me on was how to live a victorious Christian life. As a person living with depression and anxiety, everything can become a worry. My pastor explained usually you become depressed or anxious about something that happened 24-48 hours earlier. I was quite skeptical at first but the more time went on, the more I am absolutely sure he was right (imagine that!). At this particular session, I was anxious about a sin I had committed and he was helping me not fall back in that trap again.When I was younger, it was lying. I wanted everyone to like me so I thought lying to make myself look better was the best option. As an older teenager (about 17-18), it came back to haunt me.
Getting back on track, I sat through the counseling session and wondered what my sin was. I should've focused more on the weight that besets you. The weight may not be wrong, in fact the weight may be a good thing. For instance, the weight that besets you could be finances, health, family, etc. Those are all relatively good things but sometimes they can get in the way of you serving Christ. For me, it's literally my weight and my health. I turn to food for comfort. I had myself convinced that I wasn't an emotional eater until this Saturday. Something didn't go as planned and I drowned my sorrows in an ice cream sundae with sprinkles, chocolate chips, and whipped cream. It tasted delicious but afterwards I still felt horrible so I ate a soft pretzel and some Cheddar Cheese ramen. I was not hungry in fact I was pretty full but I didn't "feel good". My food didn't take away that sadness or bad feeling I had though. In fact, it made it worse because I knew that I didn't need to eat the ice cream or the pretzel or the Ramen. I just needed to give it to God and let Him help me through it.
It's been on my mind all weekend on just how much my weight has affected me. I'm at a loss of what to do and how to start but I am trying. I know I will never be a size 2 person. I blame the German in me for that. I do know that my health needs work and I know that what I am experiencing in my body is not right. For those of you who struggle with the weight and the emotional eating, I get you. I understand how hard it is to give it up. We can do this together and it is a battle we can win with the Lord on our side. I will pray for you and (if you like) you can pray for me. Our emotions are wonderful gifts from God but we must put them in the proper place. You are going to feel bad but it only lasts for a few moments. Concentrate on something else that will lift up your spirits: your favorite Bible passage, a funny movie, an uplifting song, etc. Whatever it is, resist the urge to fill that void with food. It only makes it worse. I will leave you with this quote from Arnold Glasgow "Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage, the shorter the trip." Let's do this!
Until next time,
Be happy!
Sing in the Rain
Christa
For me losing weight is not a matter of knowing what to do. I know what works for me but I refuse to do it. I have good intentions but then I get lazy. Instead of cooking meals, I spend money to order fatty, carb loaded meals. I know that it's all about portion control, exercise, and making healthy choices. I know that sitting on the couch or on my bed all night is not good. Yet, I still do it. Recently, I've been really concerned about myself and my habits. I've become concerned because it doesn't seem like I can walk a few steps at a quick pace without struggling for breath. There are so many things that I would love to do but my weight holds me back.
I was reading in my Bible one day and two verses popped in my head from Hebrews 12:1-2 "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." The phrase "lay aside every weight" stuck out to me like a blot of white paint on a black canvas. In counseling for my depression/anxiety, my pastor explained that the sin or weight that easily besets us is that one temptation that trips us up. To clarify what my pastor was counseling me on was how to live a victorious Christian life. As a person living with depression and anxiety, everything can become a worry. My pastor explained usually you become depressed or anxious about something that happened 24-48 hours earlier. I was quite skeptical at first but the more time went on, the more I am absolutely sure he was right (imagine that!). At this particular session, I was anxious about a sin I had committed and he was helping me not fall back in that trap again.When I was younger, it was lying. I wanted everyone to like me so I thought lying to make myself look better was the best option. As an older teenager (about 17-18), it came back to haunt me.
Getting back on track, I sat through the counseling session and wondered what my sin was. I should've focused more on the weight that besets you. The weight may not be wrong, in fact the weight may be a good thing. For instance, the weight that besets you could be finances, health, family, etc. Those are all relatively good things but sometimes they can get in the way of you serving Christ. For me, it's literally my weight and my health. I turn to food for comfort. I had myself convinced that I wasn't an emotional eater until this Saturday. Something didn't go as planned and I drowned my sorrows in an ice cream sundae with sprinkles, chocolate chips, and whipped cream. It tasted delicious but afterwards I still felt horrible so I ate a soft pretzel and some Cheddar Cheese ramen. I was not hungry in fact I was pretty full but I didn't "feel good". My food didn't take away that sadness or bad feeling I had though. In fact, it made it worse because I knew that I didn't need to eat the ice cream or the pretzel or the Ramen. I just needed to give it to God and let Him help me through it.
It's been on my mind all weekend on just how much my weight has affected me. I'm at a loss of what to do and how to start but I am trying. I know I will never be a size 2 person. I blame the German in me for that. I do know that my health needs work and I know that what I am experiencing in my body is not right. For those of you who struggle with the weight and the emotional eating, I get you. I understand how hard it is to give it up. We can do this together and it is a battle we can win with the Lord on our side. I will pray for you and (if you like) you can pray for me. Our emotions are wonderful gifts from God but we must put them in the proper place. You are going to feel bad but it only lasts for a few moments. Concentrate on something else that will lift up your spirits: your favorite Bible passage, a funny movie, an uplifting song, etc. Whatever it is, resist the urge to fill that void with food. It only makes it worse. I will leave you with this quote from Arnold Glasgow "Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage, the shorter the trip." Let's do this!
Until next time,
Be happy!
Sing in the Rain
Christa
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