Lay Aside Every Weight

If you asked me what my one superhero power would be if I had the ability to be a superhero, I would without hesitation say to eat without gaining any weight. Sometimes that thought makes me cringe, sometimes it makes me happy. It's no secret that I struggle very much with my weight. For me, I've fought and lost so many times. As I've said before, I am the queen of starting things. I start a diet, lose weight, and then for some reason I stop. I start exercising for a week then I don't. I do have some "minor" health issues because of my weight. I say minor because right now they are minor but in reality they could become worse. The hypochondriac in me is terrified that I will end my life early because of my struggle. This only causes me to eat more and the cycle continues. I know my family is concerned about me which have resulted in talks and gentle encouragement.

For me losing weight is not a matter of knowing what to do. I know what works for me but I refuse to do it. I have good intentions but then I get lazy. Instead of cooking meals, I spend money to order fatty, carb loaded meals. I know that it's all about portion control, exercise, and making healthy choices. I know that sitting on the couch or on my bed all night is not good. Yet, I still do it. Recently, I've been really concerned about myself and my habits. I've become concerned because it doesn't seem like I can walk a few steps at a quick pace without struggling for breath. There are so many things that I would love to do but my weight holds me back.

I was reading in my Bible one day and two verses popped in my head from Hebrews 12:1-2 "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." The phrase "lay aside every weight" stuck out to me like a blot of white paint on a black canvas. In counseling for my depression/anxiety, my pastor explained that the sin or weight that easily besets us is that one temptation that trips us up. To clarify what my pastor was counseling me on was how to live a victorious Christian life. As a person living with depression and anxiety, everything can become a worry. My pastor explained usually you become depressed or anxious about something that happened 24-48 hours earlier. I was quite skeptical at first but the more time went on, the more I am absolutely sure he was right (imagine that!). At this particular session, I was anxious about a sin I had committed and he was helping me not fall back in that trap again.When I was younger, it was lying. I wanted everyone to like me so I thought lying to make myself look better was the best option. As an older teenager (about 17-18), it came back to haunt me.

Getting back on track, I sat through the counseling session and wondered what my sin was. I should've focused more on the weight that besets you. The weight may not be wrong, in fact the weight may be a good thing. For instance, the weight that besets you could be finances, health, family, etc. Those are all relatively good things but sometimes they can get in the way of you serving Christ. For me, it's literally my weight and my health. I turn to food for comfort. I had myself convinced that I wasn't an emotional eater until this Saturday. Something didn't go as planned and I drowned my sorrows in an ice cream sundae with sprinkles, chocolate chips, and whipped cream. It tasted delicious but afterwards I still felt horrible so I ate a soft pretzel and some Cheddar Cheese ramen. I was not hungry in fact I was pretty full but I didn't "feel good". My food didn't take away that sadness or bad feeling I had though. In fact, it made it worse because I knew that I didn't need to eat the ice cream or the pretzel or the Ramen. I just needed to give it to God and let Him help me through it.

It's been on my mind all weekend on just how much my weight has affected me. I'm at a loss of what to do and how to start but I am trying. I know I will never be a size 2 person. I blame the German in me for that. I do know that my health needs work and I know that what I am experiencing in my body is not right. For those of you who struggle with the weight and the emotional eating, I get you. I understand how hard it is to give it up. We can do this together and it is a battle we can win with the Lord on our side. I will pray for you and (if you like) you can pray for me. Our emotions are wonderful gifts from God but we must put them in the proper place. You are going to feel bad but it only lasts for a few moments. Concentrate on something else that will lift up your spirits: your favorite Bible passage, a funny movie, an uplifting song, etc. Whatever it is, resist the urge to fill that void with food. It only makes it worse. I will leave you with this quote from Arnold Glasgow "Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage, the shorter the trip." Let's do this!

Until next time,

Be happy!
Sing in the Rain

Christa

Tasty Tuesdays: Dollar Tree Meal

***NEW SERIES ANNOUNCEMENT***
Starting today, Tuesdays will now feature a series entitled Tasty Tuesdays. Saturdays will continue to be a potpourri category.

Some of my favorite YouTube videos to watch are Dollar Tree recipes, hauls, and crafts. I'm absolutely in love with the creativity required to make things work on a budget. I am a avid lover of e the Dollar Tree. I usually find some great teacher materials, last minute birthday cards and gift bags, and for even finding overstock/discontinued makeup items. I have never really purchased any food items from the Dollar Tree besides the random box of candy or gum. I have been super curious what exactly would happen so I thought a blog series would create the perfect opportunity to try out some of their offerings. I had heard they recently added steak to their food line and I was super curious to try that out. Without further adieu, I present to you Steak Alfredo with only Dollar Tree ingredients.

Here is my food haul:

Starting from the bottom (now we're here) and going clockwise, I bought:

• 1 loaf of Garlic Bread-$1
• 1 box of Spaghetti-$1
• 1 jar of Prego Alfredo Sauce-$1
• 1 jar of Minced Garlic-$1
• 1 Sea Salt Grinder-$1
• 1 Pepper Grinder-$1
• 1 Container of Grated Cheese Topping-$1
• 1 jar of Mushrooms-$1
• 1 bag of Broccoli Cuts-$1
• 1 Package of Ribeye Steak-$1

To prepare the steak, I seasoned it with salt, pepper, and some of the minced garlic. The salt and pepper containers where made with very inexpensive plastic and the salt grinder ended up quitting on me halfway through. I did some jimmying and it worked ok after that. The pepper shaker worked well though. I fried the steak in a dry pan because I wasn't able to purchase any olive oil. They did have some there but I thought the steak would be pretty fatty due to the low price of $1; however it was pretty lean. It was an awful brown color though and the package stated it was mechanically tenderized. Sounded and looked quite concerning.

It did brown up nicely though. I was planning on using the fat from the steak to fry the mushrooms and the broccoli to give them extra flavor but there was very little fat left. I ended up dumping the whole jar of mushrooms and package of frozen broccoli in the pan. Since these were jarred mushrooms, I used the juice to help keep the food from sticking and to pick up those crusty bits of steak in the bottom. After all, the chefs say that's were the flavor is. I seasoned the vegetables with salt, pepper, and minced garlic. One way to bulk up a meal to use a lot of vegetables. Vegetables can be so tasty but easy on the budget if you don't have enough money for meat.

For the sauce, I poured it into a pan to heat up and added pepper, garlic and grated cheese topping. 

The texture of the grated cheese topping considered me as it did not smell or look like Parmesan cheese in which I am used to. It's almost a crime in my house to have pasta but no Parmesan cheese.

If you are curious, here is the list of ingredients:

I boiled the water for spaghetti and seasoned it with salt. This is when my salt shaker decided to take a break. I had to twist the cap a couple of times back and forth to get it to work. I think the salt crystals were too large for the grinder and ended up getting stuck. It was also pretty annoying to have to grind my salt into the pasta water. It took forever to get it right. I'm just used to scooping up some Kosher salt from our regular salt bowl.

The garlic bread was easy, preheat the oven to 400 degrees, place it on a tray and cook for 8 minutes. 

After the spaghetti was done (I like mine al dente), I scooped out a cup of pasta water and poured it in the sauce. Pasta water gives extra flavor and helps the sauce stick to the pasta. I then combined the sauce and vegetables with the pasta. The can of alfredo sauce would have been enough to cover the pasta but it was pretty thick and I prefer more thin sauces. If you prefer thicker sauces, add less pasta water.

I plated the pasta and vegetables and then cut up the steak and placed it on top of the pasta. I was afraid it would've gotten lost in the spaghetti and I would have to launch a treasure hunt for it. I then topped the pasta with the grated cheese topping.

Here is the meal plated up:

How does it stack up?

Against all alfredo dishes that I've had, this was probably the worst. The meat, vegetables, pasta, and bread were pretty tasty. The sauce was the culprit and was pretty atrocious. It had that nasty canned taste and needed some herbs spice, and some dairy. If the Dollar Tree had milk in stock, that would have greatly helped. I know they have their own brands of dairy products but my Dollar Tree's refrigeration coolers were out of order so no dairy products for me. The meat had a great flavor and I honestly couldn't taste the difference between that steak and ones I regularly buy from Kroger.

Score:

6/10

All in all this meal was decent and filled me up. The meat, vegetables, and bread had good flavor. Unfortunately the sauce ruined the whole dish. I do have to say though my digestive system did not do well with the meat. 

Let me know your Dollar Tree tricks and tips. What meal would you like to see next?

Happy Tasty Tuesday!

Christa

I Just Don't Feel Like It....

The past month of August has been a treacherous sea to navigate for my little boat. Everything in life seems to hit at once: all the good, all the bad, and all the in-between stuff like laundry and cleaning that gets shoved into little pockets of unspoken-for time. If you haven't heard yet, I'm single so everything that needs to be done in my life falls on me. I have to make supper, I have to work to pay the rent, I have to feed the bottomless stomach of my cat, etc. I do have a roommate with whom I share the rent bill, cleaning chores, cat feedings, and sometimes a supper or two with which does help when it's all said and done. For the most part though, it all starts and ends with me.

There have been many days in this month of August that I have just sat myself down and said, "I don't feel like _____ (fill-in-the-blank)." Yet I look out from the couch or my bed and see piles of laundry and dishes that need washing, an ever-growing Pinterest board of craft ideas, and a diary that has laid dormant for just about a year. I am the queen of starting projects and not finishing them. At the present time, I have a patio set of furniture on my balcony that needs sanded down and re-painted and I just haven't felt like doing it so I haven't.  Part of it stems from an old back injury that recently flared up because I decided to wear a pair of very high heels all day. Good job Christa! Part of it is because who wants to sit on the balcony on a steaming hot day sanding metal. Not me! The other part of it is because my mental capacity at the end of the workday has been drained. I really don't have the energy to focus on anything but eating dinner and going to bed right now. More on that in another blog post.

I have really challenged myself this year to step up in the ministries of my church. Along with my current job, I am the part-time hospitality director of my church, Pee-Wee club teacher, Christmas Play director, nursery worker, Sunday night piano player, special music soloist, substitute Sunday School teacher, and in general church member. Whew! In the midst of the church goings-on, I restarted my blog and my work has become extra taxing in the last month.  The thing is I know I am busy. I know I have a lot to do. I also know that I'm not the type to sit on my hands and say someone should, someone needs to, if someone would just, etc. Yet in June of this year, I was that person. The one who wanted to just get in my car and drive far away to Seattle. I always pick Seattle because when I was younger I wanted to run away at age 18 (I didn't btw) and Seattle looked like a good place. I didn't feel like doing anything else in church, I didn't feel like going to work anymore, and I didn't feel like I wanted to stay in Ohio.

In May of this year, I was given the opportunity to apply for two jobs in Texas. My company is based there and the positions offered were basically my two dream jobs. One dealt with employee engagement while the other was for an Executive Admin Assistant. I interviewed for the employee engagement on first and was eventually told I didn't get the job. That was ok though because I had the opportunity for the other job. This was the one I felt God was leading me too. I asked my family and a few friends to pray. I really felt that God would answer my prayer and I would be moving to Texas soon! Yes I'd leave my friends, family, church, and everything else behind but what an exciting time in life! I've always wanted to live out on my own and I felt that this was the ultimate test. I was willing to give up everything for that dream job. The interviews went smashingly well. After 3 weeks, the e-mail came... I still remember it. They had decided to go with someone else and I wasn't given the position. I was absolutely devastated as I called my mom in tears. I tried to put on a brave face but I know my mom knew how much it hurt. I really wanted it. I really felt that God was leading me. I started to beat myself up for reading the clues wrong, for not working harder, and for only getting an Associates Degree. How stupid could I have been to believe that they would've picked me?!

It all accumulated into June and my heart went out of all ministries in my church. You see I was mentally preparing myself to say goodbye and I had prepared myself so much that I didn't care anymore. I felt like walking into my pastor's office and saying I quit! I quit because all of this hard work and prayer has gotten me nowhere! Yet I couldn't bring myself to do it so I just floated in my little boat acting like I was ok. I just didn't feel like doing anything.

I have a friend who deals with lupus (an autoimmune disease) and many other ailments. In the midst of my life crisis, she posted a glimpse into her daily life and it broke my heart. She lives with daily excruciating pain yet still manages to work, serve in her church, and love on her family. Conviction struck my heart like a knife. I literally gasped when I read her post. Here I am, a mostly healthy person...mad at the world acting like a 2 year old because I didn't get something I wanted. I'm not saying I shouldn't have been disappointed or I shouldn't have cried but I certainly shouldn't have stopped serving God. It was then I decided that I was going to do everything I could to live the abundant life and what better way to start than in the ministry. She didn't do it to "school" others, she meant it for encouragement. Boy did it encourage me. I happy to say as of this week the Christmas play practice is going well, my blog is doing great, and Pee-Wee had a smooth start on Wednesday. God has truly provided and I am blessed.

For you my friends, blog readers, and followers..I want to pass the encouragement on to you. You may not have lots of time but you can do something. All of us are aware that life doesn't deal with us fairly and it sure gets in our way when we want to accomplish our goals. Failure tends to discourage us from doing new things and trying new ways. Don't be discouraged by failure's bumps and dips. Press on! I'll leave you with a quote Edward Everett Hale that says it best, "I am only one but I am one. I can't do everything but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do. And by the grace of God, I will."

Until Next Time,
Be Happy
Sing in the Rain

Christa

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Then It All Came Tumbling Down...

Welcome back to Simply Singing in the Rain! So many things have happened over the course of these 4 years and I don't know how to quite put them on paper or convey them via blog. Around February of this year, I started to wonder what would happen if I restarted this blog. I had ended abruptly in July of 2014 with a lighthearted post about visiting my relatives in New York. It was a great time of catch-up, barbecues, and fireworks. To be honest, I'm not sure why I really stopped blogging. I enjoyed it very much and I was learning so much about myself through it.

Let's reminisce about the year 2014... I had lost my job in February and did not get a new temp-to-hire one until May. Come September, I moved out of my parent's house into an 800 sq feet apartment with my older brother and the neighbor from hell next door. Yet all through these (and more) trials of life, I determined to stay positive and be thankful. After all, I had a decent job, good friends, a new (to me) car and freedom to go wherever and whenever the urge hit.

Then November rolled around. It started off pretty decent. I traveled with some friends to a concert in Bloomington, IN. It was just a 24 hr thing and I loved it! I absolutely love traveling and being that November is my birth month, I always tried to do something spontaneous and different. It all came to a screeching halt that 2nd week. I don't know if anyone remembers but in my last post I had briefly mentioned getting to spend time with my Babchi (Polish for Grandma). I had mentioned she wasn't doing well. Well, she was doing even worse and had to be placed in the hospital. We knew that her time on earth was drawing to a close and didn't think she would last the year. We were praying and hoping she wouldn't pass away near the holidays for my mother's (and ours) sake. On November 16, 2014, the Lord called my Babchi's name and took her home to be with Him forever. I was happy to not see her suffering and in any pain but oh did I miss her. It turned my world upside down. I thought I was prepared but it turns out I had just shoved that pain into a closet to be dealt with later.

Well, later came a-knocking on my door and when I opened it, everything came tumbling down. The walls of safety and protection I had carefully constructed just collapsed. My mind didn't know how to process so much information. It felt like I was the pinball in a pinball machine bouncing from side to side. What was happening to me? I now believe I had a nervous breakdown. Panic swooped in like a bird of prey attacking it's next meal. I couldn't get out of it. No matter where I turned there was fear and it controlled EVERY aspect of my life. Constant panic attacks wouldn't afford me much sleep and no sleep escalated my panic attacks. I was caught. Every waking moment, I was so afraid to breathe. There were no more walls...there was no more safety.

Today, a little over four years later, I remember those days with a heavy heart and saddened mind. It was only through the strength of God, the support of my family and friends, consistent counseling, medication, and prayer that I made it through. One of my good mentors from church told me that it would take a long time to heal and recover. I was thinking months and she meant years. She was right. She told me that this was something I would have to deal with the rest of my life and I thought maybe a few years. I'm not at the end of my life yet (I hope) but I know she is right. Anxiety is stacked deck.

"So what is the meaning of the post, Christa? I'm glad you got through it but what does this have to do with me?" To be frank, I'm not sure but this is what has been on my heart to write. I never really shared this story in full with anyone but a few trusted individuals yet I know there some out there who needed this. You are not alone. I've been there and quite frankly I'm still there. The panic attacks have stopped and I plan on getting a good night's sleep tonight but I know the fear is just right beyond the edges of my mind. It's waiting for the right moment to charge and break down my wall of safety. Sometimes it's sunny out and I can see it...other times it's quite dark and I lose sight of it. One thing this whole experience has taught me is to enjoy life and don't let the fear of being alone, the unknown, etc get in your way. Go live life and live life abundantly! I know it's cliche but before all this anxiety happened, I would just sit in my room like a bump on a log waiting for Prince Charming to come bounding in and whisk me away to a foreign land. Well, that hasn't happened. So quit waiting for the perfect moment or perfect person. Go take that trip! Go climb that mountain! Go skydiving! It will change your world.

Closing Thought: In each life, a little rain must fall. It must fall for the flowers to grow, the food to sprout, and the rivers to flow. Without rain, how special would a bright sunny day be?

Until next time,
Be Happy
Sing in the Rain

Christa

Living the Single Life: 4th of July

Most of my adventures are kept quiet to my Simply Singing in the Rain family to avoid coming across as boastful. I know some of you out there are introverts (yes, I am an introvert) like me who like to keep to themselves and if it weren't for a few great friends and family we would be hermits. Most of my nights are spent surfing the far reaches of the Internet and somehow ending up on the weird side of YouTube. However, I do go on "adventures" as I like to call them and I thought I could encourage some of you in knowing that single people can have fun too...in fact, single, introverted people can have fun too...also, single, introverted, awkward, people can have fun...let's just say, people in general can have fun. I hope you enjoy as you come along my July Fourth adventure.

It was a warm July day and my family and I (well, my dad and brothers) were packing the car getting ready to head to New York where my aunts, uncles, and grandparents lived. We were visiting them for the Fourth of July weekend. It was a quick trip to catch up on each other's lives and reconnect with our loved ones. All of 6 of us piled into a 7-seater with our luggage and drove speedily down the highway towards our destination. It was a little cramped but doable and we were all happy to save money on gas. The way up to New York was pretty uneventful with only one memorable stop and that was at Bill Gray's to purchase and consume a garbage plate. What is a garbage plate you ask? A garbage plate is built on macaroni salad and home fries topped off with a hamburger or hot dog or both (yes with all the fixin's). My sister-in-law and I had not seen much less eaten one of monstrosities but had heard many tales (some bad and some good) of it's tastes. We decided to share a garbage plate and partake in whatever it had in store for us. We split the food and feasted on our newly found treasure. Everything tasted great on it's own and combined together had a very unique flavor that I am unable to describe. It tasted like a picnic you would have on a weekend like the Fourth of July. I am glad though that I split the plate with my sister-in-law because I would have not been able to eat the whole thing. The unique flavor was a little too much for me after a half of a plate. After our feast was over, we headed back out to complete our journey. We arrived in the late afternoon evening at my Babchi's house. Side note: Babchi is Polish for Grandma. We chatted a little while with her and joined her for dinner. There is one thing that I will always equate Babchi with and that thing is food. Babchi shows her love to us by feeding us. When she was not so up in years, she would make chicken noodle soup, spaghetti sauce, homemade cookies, cakes, pies, you name it and she would make it from scratch and it would taste like manna from Heaven! The last couple of years have not been kind to my Babchi and she is growing older. I know that the time for her to pass on from this earth to Heaven is growing closer each day. It has become a ritual for me to stay overnight with her whenever we visit so I took opportunity when it was presented. I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible since we visit her a few times a year. She encouraged me to continue on and promised to pray for me. I know she has and will continue to do so. I will miss her but that's what Heaven is for right? To catch up on all those moments that we missed!

The next day brought along new adventures with my Rogers' side of the family. But first let me take a selfie:

There! I've got that out of the way. We traveled to my Grandma and Grandpa Steve's trailer and had a picnic. The table was full of different meats ranging from hot dogs to pork loin, salt potatoes (yum!), salads, desserts, and snacks. Our Aunt Debbie and Uncle Bill joined us for a delicious meal and bonfire. Before we gorged ourselves on the delicious food, my Uncle Bill invited me and my brother Eric for a boat ride. It was a strapping yacht weathered by the salt of the mighty oceans of the world...*clears throat*...I might have exaggerated just a little but you'll never know! We pulled out into the mighty Seneca River and Uncle Bill pulled the choke on the motor and we.....sat. He jokingly stated that we would have to paddle all the way up the river. He pulled again and nothing happened. Thankfully, he did have an electric motor and we cruised up the river at the whopping speed of 5 mph. It was a lovely cruise (thankfully not a 3-hour tour) and we arrived back at the dock well rested and hair in place. My Uncle Bill joked again stating that he'd never live this one down. Nope, Uncle Bill! It's out here for the rest of the world to see. We arrived back at the trailer famished from our thrilling ride and stuffed ourselves with the goodies. We talked and shared stories about my Poppy. Poppy was my first grandpa. Unfortunately, he passed away when I was 9. The next day we visited his grave and paid our respects.

The rest of the day was filled with Gina and Joe's pizza and a visit to Willow Bay. The best pizza on the planet!!! True authentic New York style pizza! Yummy! Want to see it? 

We visited Willow Bay and saw this humorous sign that made the Grammar Nazi in me twinge with disgust....

I don't think I'll recover from that. Sunday was the day we said goodbye to our friends and family and made the long, cramped journey back to Ohio. It was worth it and I came away with a sense of thankfulness for my family. We may have some characters but they are there for us whenever we need them.

Until next time,

Be Happy Wherever You Are

Always Sing in the Rain

Christa

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From My Heart

Today was a bad day. Today a tsunami wave of depression crashed upon the shores of my heart threatening to destroy all the progress I made in the past year. It's terror swept me out to the angry sea. The howling winds matched the force of the anger the black sky showed. Heavy raindrops pelted my skin with unwavering ferocity. Cracks of lightning followed by the sound of thunder flashed across the angry sky. The weight attached to me threatened to pull me under any second. I struggled to avoid drowning and my only thoughts were to keep my head above water. I didn't want to go under again. After all of the progress I had made in the last year, I just couldn't. The storm finally let up and I made my way back to the shore of safety and rested. The horizon was no longer dark with menacing black clouds but was brilliantly light by the bright sun. A few wispy clouds slowly crawled by and a small breeze began to blow. I had made it out and I had survived another storm. It was going to be ok, actually I was going to be ok.

I sat alone in my bedroom at midnight trying to hold the tears back. I had to be strong and I couldn't face it. The hurt pierced my heart like knife and there was no way I could break free. I tried my best to ignore it by going to my #1 comfort: food. I resisted the bag of Birthday Cake M&Ms on my dresser and decided to read my Bible to try and suppress the feelings deep inside of me. "Why me? Why couldn't it be me?" my thoughts rang out. I couldn't listen to them or I would cry. I couldn't concentrate at all and soon enough, my thoughts overwhelmed me as I began to softly weep. I thought to myself, "How stupid is this? There are people in the world without food, jobs, good health, parents, etc. and you are crying about this. Stop it Christa!" I gasped for my breath and tried to calm myself down willing the tears to stop but they wouldn't. I would gain control for a moment only to lose it in the next. I couldn't help but think what my friends and family would think if they saw me here in my bedroom in tears crying over this stupid reason. I imagined some of them would call me a fool and tell me to get over myself. There would be one who would tell me to be patient and of course the one who would look at me in pity and shake their head. It's not easy being single in a relationship-minded world and some have forgotten what it's like. For those who can't comprehend what I'm saying, imagine that for 10 years of your life you wanted a job. Everyone else around you (or so it seemed) had a job and enjoyed it very much. They constantly talked about their job, about how much fun it was, and how rewarding the benefits were. You knew in your mind that there were downsides to having a job: arguments with the manager, lousy pay, and strict rules but you knew in your heart that the positives outweighed the negatives. You would voice your opinion to others on how much you wanted a job but no one could give you one....you had to find one yourself (figuratively). You were told to be patient, it'll come when you least expect it, or you've got nothing to worry about. The years began to drone on as other friends were hired into wonderful jobs with some even getting benefits right away. All the while, the only advice you have received is patience. You try to ignore the feelings of frustration by eating, music, writing, etc. anything that can take your mind off the situation but yet it's still there. Some days you feel anxious and excited for what the future holds yet other days holds depression and angry questions of why. Most of your friends now have jobs and it seems like every time you turn around someone else just became a new employee while you stay in your rut of joblessness. There is no end in sight. Tell me, how would you feel? Happy? Joyful? Sad? Depressed? Singled out? Now, replace the thought of a job with the thought of a spouse and you've got a taste of what a single person has gone through.

Yes, there are other people in this world without jobs, homes, food, family, health, etc. but you and I are a humans and we have feelings. I'm here to tell you it's ok to feel that pang of sadness when someone announces a new relationship, marriage, baby, etc. It's ok to cry and let it out. It becomes not ok when we dwell on it letting it fester in our lives until we become bitter at the world around us. I understand your heart and how badly you want this but it'll be ok. There is no stronger person than someone who has been single for any period of time so I have no doubt you'll make it through. Go ahead and cry but when you finish wipe away your tears and hold your head up high because you have nothing to be ashamed about. Now, go out and help those that are without food, jobs, homes, family, and good health. Invest your time into things that do good for the community, others, animals, churches, etc. Don't dwell on it! However, when the time comes that the sadness is too much, cry it out, scream it out, do whatever you feel you need to do...then pick yourself back up and continue on. You can do it! You will make it! If it gives you any comfort, I am in the same boat/ocean you are. I understand what you are going through to the max believe me, I do. Keep going!

Until next time,

Be Happy Today!

Christa

Off Limits

Throughout my teenage years, the teaching of non-touching between boys and girls was drilled in my brain. Many lectures and lessons were given about purity and abstinence. We were told the progression of that slippery slope started with hand holding. We were advised to have chaperons on each and every date to avoid rumors and any wrong doing. We should never be alone or we would begin to slide that dreaded slope which would inevitably lead to something we would regret. We were told to save our first kiss till our wedding day to avoid temptation. We were not to sit less than 6 inches away from each other. Choruses of "Leave room for the Holy Spirit" or "Sit a Bible between you" rang out. Abstain, abstain, abstain was drilled into our minds. Every time a new preacher or teacher came, messages of purity and modesty would always be the topic. They would hit hard on us girls. After all, we could tempt the boys with immodest dress to do unspeakable acts. The boys always seemed to be exempt from those services and teaching. Yet, no on taught us how to act around the opposite sex. No taught us what to say or what to do. No one...They just left us to traverse the tricky jungle of the dating world by ourselves. The only rule? You better not touch him or else you'll regret it. Pastors at weddings would always announce to the whole world that the couple being married never held hands or kissed. This was the example we were to follow. This should be us one day. Guys were off-limits until marriage and you better not touch one until then.

At the age of 12, I made a promise to the Lord that I would remain pure until my wedding day. If you are unfamiliar with this means, let me put it into simpler terms, I promised the Lord that I would remain a virgin until my wedding night. I believe that sex before you are married is wrong, plain and simple. I'm not trying to offend anyone by this, but the Bible states in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 that fornication (sex outside of marriage) is sin and I believe that every word of the Bible is true and correct. If this is you, then take heart to know that there is no sin that God cannot forgive you from. The Bible says in 1 John 1:9 that he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins but only if we confess them. If you are considering giving your purity to the Lord, I encourage you to do it! There is no better gift to give your spouse on your wedding night. With that said, I shall continue to my point, there is nothing wrong with touching the opposite sex. In this case, since I am a girl, the opposite sex would be a boy. Very complicated, huh? All the things that I mentioned in the first paragraph are all things that I have heard preached, taught, or said to me regarding relationships. It became ingrained in my brain so much so that I became fearful of the opposite sex. I wouldn't talk to them, make eye contact with them, or heaven forbid touch them more than a handshake. I was sorely afraid that something I said or did would turn on a switch in the opposite sex's brain and he would immediately ask/want to do horrible things with me. I was nervous, pathetic mess. I was so awkward and weird around them. My brothers and parents would tease me and try to coach me to talk to the opposite sex. I would refuse and stubbornly go about my ways, after all, wasn't I doing the right thing? This went on well into my later teen years and even into my early 20s until one day it all changed.

I determined in my heart and mind to get over my fear and awkwardness around the opposite sex. I wasn't getting anywhere in my fortress all alone. I had to face the fact that I had to talk to the opposite sex. In this case, since I'm a girl, I had to talk to a man. It took a little bit but I practiced on one of my friends, who was single but I had no (romantic) interest in. It started out with saying "Hi" every time I saw him, then moved on to a few sentences, then full conversations. I started to realize that talking to boys was great! There was less drama and there was more to talk about. I love football and sports so it worked out great. There was no pressure to do things that I didn't want to do. There was no "sexual" connection at all. It was just happiness from having a good friend. So I became braver and made great strides in talking to guys and hanging out with them. I was no longer awkward in their presence and I could actually hold a conversation. Then it happened, I had to talk to a guy that I was interested in. I was so not ready for it but I knew I had to take that step to conquer my fear. I walked toward him and quickly blurted out a "Hi" and walked away as fast as possible. No one (not even him) will ever know how much effort that two letter word took from me. I was so proud of myself and eventually began having conversations with him. Turns out, he was interested in someone else (remember the curse?) but I had gained so much. I had gained the confidence to talk to not just any guy, but guys that I liked! Wow! Again, there was no magical experience or desire to do anything sexual. There was just me and a guy talking about our lives and nothing else.

Looking back at my teenage years, I wish we had less sermons/lessons on purity and modesty and more sermons/lessons directed at dealing with the opposite sex. For every case, there are always two extremes. For this topic, the extremes are: Stay Away Danger! and Go Ahead, Go all the Way. Can't we find a happy medium? For me, hand-holding and kissing before marriage is not a sin as long as you have boundaries. If you purposed in your heart to remain pure until marriage, then it will take a lot more than kissing and hand-holding to get you to change that decision. I am not, and I repeat I AM NOT!, going to share my first kiss with my spouse and the whole world. It will be a private moment between him and me and no one else. I will not be embarrassed my missing my new husband's face or slobbering all over him. No way! Just as a side note, instead of announcing to the whole world who hasn't kissed whom, let's embrace all couples who remained pure until their wedding day, they deserve some recognition too! The purpose of this post was not to offend anyone who may or may not have made decisions talked about earlier in this. It was to open our eyes a bit and perhaps re-think about the lessons/advice we give to the younger generation. It was also meant for guys and girls like me who have struggled forging friendships with the opposite sex.

If you have a bit of advice, be sure to leave a comment below! What did you struggle with and how did you overcome?

Until next time,

Be Happy Where You Are in Life,

Christa